Part One: Rast's Eventful Wedding
The party return to Sandpoint to attend the wedding of Rast and Ameiko Kaijitsu. Pretty much the whole town has been invited to attend the ceremony. While Asha organises flowers and Karrack works on his speech, Grogg is busy getting pissed on complimentary wine. Ben considers gifting the happy couple with a pair of eyeballs from his ever-growing collection, when he asks for Karrack's opinion, the horrified lizardman suggests he consider a less gruesome wedding present. Meanwhile, Grogg drunkenly presents Rast with a box of official 'Grogg the Smasher' merchandise (t-shirts, posters, action figures, fridge magnets, etc).
As the great bronze bells above the cathedral clamour, Rast stumbles up the aisle to join his beloved at the altar. Before the happy couple can exchange their vows, they are subjected to a bizarre re-inaction of Rast's heroic exploits, performed with reckless enthusiasm by a troupe of masked goblins. The greenskin cast as the dwarven lead is even swinging around a replica of Rast's returning dagger on a length of elastic - and one goblin does lose an eye during the course of the performance - causing Ben to eagerly scramble after the wayward orb as it rolls beneath a pew. Karrack and Rast exchange worried glances over the ranger's increasingly erratic behaviour.
Karrack delivers his best (lizard)man's speech then steps forward with the rings. Father Pascal intones the rites of marriage before gods and men and asks if anyone present objects to this blessed union....
As the great bronze bells above the cathedral clamour, Rast stumbles up the aisle to join his beloved at the altar. Before the happy couple can exchange their vows, they are subjected to a bizarre re-inaction of Rast's heroic exploits, performed with reckless enthusiasm by a troupe of masked goblins. The greenskin cast as the dwarven lead is even swinging around a replica of Rast's returning dagger on a length of elastic - and one goblin does lose an eye during the course of the performance - causing Ben to eagerly scramble after the wayward orb as it rolls beneath a pew. Karrack and Rast exchange worried glances over the ranger's increasingly erratic behaviour.
Karrack delivers his best (lizard)man's speech then steps forward with the rings. Father Pascal intones the rites of marriage before gods and men and asks if anyone present objects to this blessed union....
SUDDENLY, the tall, stained glass window (depicting the goddess Desna) over the altar bursts inward, showering the wedding guests with garish fragments of coloured glass. A huge, winged reptile with baleful green eyes and ebon scales clambers in through the shattered frame. Astride the wyvern's back is a familiar figure - the ghoulish killer once known as Lord Aldern Foxglove - cackling maniacally as the terrified townsfolk mill around in mindless panic! While Foxglove doesn't particularly object to Rast marrying Ameiko, he strongly objects to how the party broke into his haunted mansion, slaughtered wave after wave of his undead minions then left him for dead(er), floating like a turd in some subterranean tide pool. A horde of zombies boil up from the crypts below the cathedral, led by four of Foxglove's most reliable ghoul lieutenants.
Ben wastes no time casting Blast at the wyvern, shattering the rest of the chapel's beautiful windows in the resulting explosion. Father Pascal squawks with indignation, but is forced to flee for his life when the still-smoking creature hops down, crushing the altar beneath its tremendous weight. Asha is like a kid in a candy store, surrounded by so many of her favoured enemy, she can hardly swing her blessed blade without hitting something with the undead subtype. Meanwhile, Karrack plays the GET SAVAGE Adventure Card (Followers Edge) and the 5 goblin actors scamper into the fray. Grogg is kept busy fending off a second wave of zombies trying to break through the main entrance.
Karrack vaults onto the wyvern's broad shoulders and engages Foxglove in melee, his claws clashing against the ghouls filthy nails. Unable to match the scaly monks ferocity, Foxglove instructs the wyvern to withdraw. The monstrous creature closes its huge talons around Ameiko Kaijitsu and begins to rise. Rast leaps after his helpless bride and the newly weds are both carried into the skies over Sandpoint, as Karrack and Foxglove continue to duel across the wyvern's back.
While Asha, Ben and Grogg defend the folk of Sandpoint from the undead, the wyvern flies higher and further from Sandpoint with each beat of its enormous wings. Karrack severs Foxglove's head with a sweep of his spiny tail and the decapitated ghoul tumbles towards the ocean. Grabbing the reins, the Saurian forces the wyvern to land on the tangled fringe of the Brinestump Marsh, spilling Rast and his battered bride onto the marshy ground. Interposing himself between the wyvern and his wife, Rast chivalrously defends Ameiko from the beast until together, he and Karrack bring the monster down. They encounter a search party of concerned citizens as they trudge back towards Sandpoint and return to find Asha and the sheriff's men piling the last of the zombies onto a roaring pyre in the town square.
Ben wastes no time casting Blast at the wyvern, shattering the rest of the chapel's beautiful windows in the resulting explosion. Father Pascal squawks with indignation, but is forced to flee for his life when the still-smoking creature hops down, crushing the altar beneath its tremendous weight. Asha is like a kid in a candy store, surrounded by so many of her favoured enemy, she can hardly swing her blessed blade without hitting something with the undead subtype. Meanwhile, Karrack plays the GET SAVAGE Adventure Card (Followers Edge) and the 5 goblin actors scamper into the fray. Grogg is kept busy fending off a second wave of zombies trying to break through the main entrance.
Karrack vaults onto the wyvern's broad shoulders and engages Foxglove in melee, his claws clashing against the ghouls filthy nails. Unable to match the scaly monks ferocity, Foxglove instructs the wyvern to withdraw. The monstrous creature closes its huge talons around Ameiko Kaijitsu and begins to rise. Rast leaps after his helpless bride and the newly weds are both carried into the skies over Sandpoint, as Karrack and Foxglove continue to duel across the wyvern's back.
While Asha, Ben and Grogg defend the folk of Sandpoint from the undead, the wyvern flies higher and further from Sandpoint with each beat of its enormous wings. Karrack severs Foxglove's head with a sweep of his spiny tail and the decapitated ghoul tumbles towards the ocean. Grabbing the reins, the Saurian forces the wyvern to land on the tangled fringe of the Brinestump Marsh, spilling Rast and his battered bride onto the marshy ground. Interposing himself between the wyvern and his wife, Rast chivalrously defends Ameiko from the beast until together, he and Karrack bring the monster down. They encounter a search party of concerned citizens as they trudge back towards Sandpoint and return to find Asha and the sheriff's men piling the last of the zombies onto a roaring pyre in the town square.
Part Two: Rast's Eventful Honeymoon
In the aftermath of so eventful a wedding day, Rast and his new wife are eagerly anticipating a relaxing honeymoon aboard the 'Paradise' riverboat. Meanwhile, Mayor Leis of Magnimar asks the rest of the party to investigate troubling reports from Fort Rannick and arranges for them to also travel aboard the luxury vessel, as emissaries of the city.
Boarding the 'Paradise', the 'emissaries' receive a frosty welcome from the riverboat's owner, the Lady Lucrecia, who is unhappy to have been burdened with a group of free-loading adventurers, taking up space and generally lowering the tone with their crude table manners and crass company. Her 'Absolutely No Goblins!' policy is not well received, but Karrack relents and decides to not antagonise her any further by smuggling Snot aboard. Initially, Lucrecia attempts to restrict the heroes to their cabins (all except Rast and Ameiko, who are paying guests and can go where they please), but backs down when Asha argues that her vows to Sarenrae require that she worship her Goddess beneath the sun. 'Worshipping' translates to 'sunbathing', distracting Lucrecia's goons as they ogle the scantily-clad cleric's bronzed flesh. Asha's indecent habit of undressing on deck attracts the attention of a wealthy gnome playboy called Conchobhar Turlach Shortstone III (ported across from the Skull and Shackles Adventure Path, as I regretted killing him off so quickly in that game), whose seductive overtures are no more successful in this campaign than they were in the last.
A compulsive gambler, Grogg tries to take a seat at one of the tables, but Lucrecia's guards have been instructed to keep the boisterous half-orc away from the other guests. However, an influential half-orc industrialist from Magnimar (Brogg) recognised his face and insists that the goons allow Grogg inside as his personal guest and that all Grogg's (many) drinks be put on his tab. Grogg gambles recklessly - but wins big! He is invited to join Brogg in the high rollers lounge, but first told he must first agree to be branded with a tattoo, entitling him to VIP treatment throughout the rest of his journey. Grogg cheerfully consents and a seven-pointed star is inked onto his leathery skin.
Boarding the 'Paradise', the 'emissaries' receive a frosty welcome from the riverboat's owner, the Lady Lucrecia, who is unhappy to have been burdened with a group of free-loading adventurers, taking up space and generally lowering the tone with their crude table manners and crass company. Her 'Absolutely No Goblins!' policy is not well received, but Karrack relents and decides to not antagonise her any further by smuggling Snot aboard. Initially, Lucrecia attempts to restrict the heroes to their cabins (all except Rast and Ameiko, who are paying guests and can go where they please), but backs down when Asha argues that her vows to Sarenrae require that she worship her Goddess beneath the sun. 'Worshipping' translates to 'sunbathing', distracting Lucrecia's goons as they ogle the scantily-clad cleric's bronzed flesh. Asha's indecent habit of undressing on deck attracts the attention of a wealthy gnome playboy called Conchobhar Turlach Shortstone III (ported across from the Skull and Shackles Adventure Path, as I regretted killing him off so quickly in that game), whose seductive overtures are no more successful in this campaign than they were in the last.
A compulsive gambler, Grogg tries to take a seat at one of the tables, but Lucrecia's guards have been instructed to keep the boisterous half-orc away from the other guests. However, an influential half-orc industrialist from Magnimar (Brogg) recognised his face and insists that the goons allow Grogg inside as his personal guest and that all Grogg's (many) drinks be put on his tab. Grogg gambles recklessly - but wins big! He is invited to join Brogg in the high rollers lounge, but first told he must first agree to be branded with a tattoo, entitling him to VIP treatment throughout the rest of his journey. Grogg cheerfully consents and a seven-pointed star is inked onto his leathery skin.
Several days pass uneventfully, until the boat's leisurely progress east (along the the northern edge of the Mushfens) is halted by the unexpected appearance of a naked swamp giant bathing in the middle of the river. Her patience fraying, Lady Lucrecia orders the men under her command to begin constructing a light ballista on the deck. Karrack pleads with her not to rile up the soapy brute and she grudgingly gives the party until her goons finish building the catapult to move the giant on. Asha immediately strips down to her skivvies and lounges provocatively in plain view of Lucrecia's men, who are now finding it increasingly difficult to focus on the task at hand.
Karrack swims over to talk to the large fellow and learns that he is "on a promise" and must make himself presentable for the lady giant he is courting. Karrack recruits the rest of the party (and a lot of the crew) in his endeavour to make the lovestruck giant irresistible to the opposite sex. Rast retires to his cabin and concocts a pungent aftershave while Conchobhar Turlach Shortstone III instructs the eager giant in the gnomish arts of love. When the giant's would-be mate appears, Ben strikes up the band, serenading the lovers with suggestive melodies. Thanks to the parties efforts, the swamp giant gets lucky and is dragged into the foliage for a little bump and grind - clearing the way for the 'Paradise' to float on eastwards towards their destination.
Karrack swims over to talk to the large fellow and learns that he is "on a promise" and must make himself presentable for the lady giant he is courting. Karrack recruits the rest of the party (and a lot of the crew) in his endeavour to make the lovestruck giant irresistible to the opposite sex. Rast retires to his cabin and concocts a pungent aftershave while Conchobhar Turlach Shortstone III instructs the eager giant in the gnomish arts of love. When the giant's would-be mate appears, Ben strikes up the band, serenading the lovers with suggestive melodies. Thanks to the parties efforts, the swamp giant gets lucky and is dragged into the foliage for a little bump and grind - clearing the way for the 'Paradise' to float on eastwards towards their destination.
Before reaching Lake Claybottom, the 'Paradise' ties up alongside the gnomish settlement of Whistledown and many of the wealthy passengers disembark to spend the afternoon exploring the sights of the picturesque community. Conchobhar Turlach Shortstone III offers to give Asha a tour of the town, which she accepts - on the understanding that if he tries to touch her bum, she will kill him. The gnome reluctantly consents to keep his wandering hands to himself. During their exploration of Whistledown, the cleric notices a curious tattoo on Shortstone's wrist, a seven pointed star that she recognises from her research into cult activity in wider Varisa. What could this shocking development mean?!
As Asha confronts Conchobhar Turlach Shortstone III (re: his Sideheron tattoo), a sudden storm rolls in from the Hook Mountains to the north, choking the sky with dark, thunderous clouds. The amorous gnome is sceptical of the cleric's assertion that his tattoo is actually an ancient Thassilonian rune, claiming he was given it aboard the 'Paradise', to mark his VIP status. As the weather worsens, the wealthy passengers rush back to the pitching riverboat.
As Karrack heads for his bunk below decks, he notices someone trying to catch his attention. He is pleasantly surprised to discover that Snot the Goblin had managed to sneak aboard the 'Paradise' before it left Magnimar. The wretched creature would have announced his presence sooner, but was trapped inside the crate it stowed away in and has only recently managed to gnaw its way to freedom. Yet the goblin bears troubling news - he is not the only stowaway aboard the riverboat. While confined to his box, Snot witnessed Shalelu Andosana sneaking on board - only to be apprehended by some of Lady Lucrecia's goons. Karrack immediately rounds up the party and sets to tearing the riverboat apart in search of his sometime half-elf girlfriend. Karrack, Grogg, Ben Kotek and the goblin waylay a group of Lucrecia's thugs, while Asha tries to talk Rast out of raising a customer service complaint with the duty manager.
The goon squad tell Karrack that the half-elf stowaway was thrown overboard, but the Saurian monk is convinced they're hiding something. Violence ensues, during which Snot is almost mortally wounded. The injured creature slips on the blood-slick deck and topples into the dark water. The clash of steel draws several wealthy passengers from the comfort of their cabins, who leap headlong to the conclusion that the riverboat is being attacked by pirates! Panic spreads like wildfire as the rest of the vessel's security force mobilise to repel the boarders. Being bloodthirsty (hindrance), Grogg 'forgets' that the party intended to keep one of the mercenaries alive and butchers the feeble human sellswords as effortlessly as a farmer would strike down his livestock on market day.
As Asha confronts Conchobhar Turlach Shortstone III (re: his Sideheron tattoo), a sudden storm rolls in from the Hook Mountains to the north, choking the sky with dark, thunderous clouds. The amorous gnome is sceptical of the cleric's assertion that his tattoo is actually an ancient Thassilonian rune, claiming he was given it aboard the 'Paradise', to mark his VIP status. As the weather worsens, the wealthy passengers rush back to the pitching riverboat.
As Karrack heads for his bunk below decks, he notices someone trying to catch his attention. He is pleasantly surprised to discover that Snot the Goblin had managed to sneak aboard the 'Paradise' before it left Magnimar. The wretched creature would have announced his presence sooner, but was trapped inside the crate it stowed away in and has only recently managed to gnaw its way to freedom. Yet the goblin bears troubling news - he is not the only stowaway aboard the riverboat. While confined to his box, Snot witnessed Shalelu Andosana sneaking on board - only to be apprehended by some of Lady Lucrecia's goons. Karrack immediately rounds up the party and sets to tearing the riverboat apart in search of his sometime half-elf girlfriend. Karrack, Grogg, Ben Kotek and the goblin waylay a group of Lucrecia's thugs, while Asha tries to talk Rast out of raising a customer service complaint with the duty manager.
The goon squad tell Karrack that the half-elf stowaway was thrown overboard, but the Saurian monk is convinced they're hiding something. Violence ensues, during which Snot is almost mortally wounded. The injured creature slips on the blood-slick deck and topples into the dark water. The clash of steel draws several wealthy passengers from the comfort of their cabins, who leap headlong to the conclusion that the riverboat is being attacked by pirates! Panic spreads like wildfire as the rest of the vessel's security force mobilise to repel the boarders. Being bloodthirsty (hindrance), Grogg 'forgets' that the party intended to keep one of the mercenaries alive and butchers the feeble human sellswords as effortlessly as a farmer would strike down his livestock on market day.
With only the vaguest notion of where Shalelu might be being held, the party continue their rushed and uncoordinated hunt for the captive ranger. Rast takes the opportunity to loot several unattended store rooms and (after playing the TREASURE TROVE adventure card) finds a Shroud of Lurking Menace (+3 Stealth).
Encountering a knot of Lucrecia's men determined to prevent the party from venturing any further into the bowels of the lurching riverboat, the heroes cut them down and consider the (now undefended) portal they had been guarding. Karrack listens at the door and hears what sounds suspiciously like someone coordinating an ambush on the other side. Retreating to a safe distance, the party cover their ears as Ben unloads a Blast spell on the threshold - obliterating the door (and the walls to either side) and spraying the men beyond with a hail of sharp splinters. Flushed with success, Ben exhausts his remaining Power Points on a second Blast, taking out the thugs still reeling from the initial explosion - then the rest of the party barrel into the breach!
Karrack's player throws down the REINFORCEMENTS Adventure Card - and 1D6 (2) more friendly goblins pop out the crates they had been hiding inside, slashing at the surprised goons with their jagged dogslicers.
Lady Lucrecia is poised above the prone figure of Shalelu Andosana, whose bare flesh has been branded with the Sideheron rune. Lucrecia drops her mortal guise and reveals herself to be yet another Lamia Matriarch - worse, a vengeful Lamia Matriarch nursing a grudge against the party after they killed her sister Xanesha back in Magnimar! The flying snake woman takes a moment to gloat about her evil scheme; how the souls of any sentient creature that dies while marked with the Sideheron rune speed the cataclysmic rise of her Master - the greedier the souls, the better! To make things even worse, the most invaluable minions of this maniacal overlord are granted Sideheron medallions that allow them to compel those branded with the seven pointed star. Shalelu Andosana lurches to her feet and attacks the party, her face contorted by an uncharacteristic expression of rapacious greed. Grogg feels the same compulsion to betray his friends, but the stubborn half-orc resists Lucrecia's sorcerous invasion of his mind, causing his own Sideheron tattoo to burn painfully against his rebellious flesh.
SUDDENLY, a series of detonations rocks the riverboat - Lucrecia has conspired to sink her own vessel in the middle of Lake Claybottom, condemning her passengers to a watery grave and their blemished souls to the runewell of her Master! The party battle Lucrecia and her mortal henchmen as the dark water floods the hold of the listing riverboat. Defeated, the Lamia Matriarch blasts a gaping hole in the hull and escapes into the storm-wracked darkness beyond.
With Lucrecia beyond their reach and the 'Paradise' sinking rapidly, the party set to saving the doomed vessel. While the allied goblins struggle with Shalelu (who is still suffering the ill effects of the Lamia's Puppet power), Karrack and Ben race for the wheelhouse and steer the floundering riverboat towards the shore. While Grogg takes advantage of the chaos to loot the high roller's lounge, Rast rescues his beloved Ameiko and the newly-weds glide to safety (Gary is getting pretty good mileage out of those harpy wings) - leaving the rest of the party to drown.
The two tireless golems trapped in the riverboat's waterwheels drive the 'Paradise' into the shallow water along the edge of the lake, tearing the bottom out of the vessel with a god-awful crash that tosses the surviving passengers around like well-dressed scarecrows. Picking themselves up, the party (those that hadn't already abandoned ship to selfishly save their own skins) organise the evacuation of the wrecked riverboat. Once everyone is upon dry ground, Karrack addresses the press of dripping nobles, rolling a CRITICAL FAILURE on his (unskilled) Persuasion roll to restore some semblance of order. The passengers panic and scatter into the dark, ogre-infested woods. Grogg roars for them to come back (failed Intimidation roll), but only drives them deeper into the forest. Lamenting their compound incompetence at anything other than combat, the party return to the mostly submerged wreck of the 'Paradise' to spend the night in relative luxury.
Encountering a knot of Lucrecia's men determined to prevent the party from venturing any further into the bowels of the lurching riverboat, the heroes cut them down and consider the (now undefended) portal they had been guarding. Karrack listens at the door and hears what sounds suspiciously like someone coordinating an ambush on the other side. Retreating to a safe distance, the party cover their ears as Ben unloads a Blast spell on the threshold - obliterating the door (and the walls to either side) and spraying the men beyond with a hail of sharp splinters. Flushed with success, Ben exhausts his remaining Power Points on a second Blast, taking out the thugs still reeling from the initial explosion - then the rest of the party barrel into the breach!
Karrack's player throws down the REINFORCEMENTS Adventure Card - and 1D6 (2) more friendly goblins pop out the crates they had been hiding inside, slashing at the surprised goons with their jagged dogslicers.
Lady Lucrecia is poised above the prone figure of Shalelu Andosana, whose bare flesh has been branded with the Sideheron rune. Lucrecia drops her mortal guise and reveals herself to be yet another Lamia Matriarch - worse, a vengeful Lamia Matriarch nursing a grudge against the party after they killed her sister Xanesha back in Magnimar! The flying snake woman takes a moment to gloat about her evil scheme; how the souls of any sentient creature that dies while marked with the Sideheron rune speed the cataclysmic rise of her Master - the greedier the souls, the better! To make things even worse, the most invaluable minions of this maniacal overlord are granted Sideheron medallions that allow them to compel those branded with the seven pointed star. Shalelu Andosana lurches to her feet and attacks the party, her face contorted by an uncharacteristic expression of rapacious greed. Grogg feels the same compulsion to betray his friends, but the stubborn half-orc resists Lucrecia's sorcerous invasion of his mind, causing his own Sideheron tattoo to burn painfully against his rebellious flesh.
SUDDENLY, a series of detonations rocks the riverboat - Lucrecia has conspired to sink her own vessel in the middle of Lake Claybottom, condemning her passengers to a watery grave and their blemished souls to the runewell of her Master! The party battle Lucrecia and her mortal henchmen as the dark water floods the hold of the listing riverboat. Defeated, the Lamia Matriarch blasts a gaping hole in the hull and escapes into the storm-wracked darkness beyond.
With Lucrecia beyond their reach and the 'Paradise' sinking rapidly, the party set to saving the doomed vessel. While the allied goblins struggle with Shalelu (who is still suffering the ill effects of the Lamia's Puppet power), Karrack and Ben race for the wheelhouse and steer the floundering riverboat towards the shore. While Grogg takes advantage of the chaos to loot the high roller's lounge, Rast rescues his beloved Ameiko and the newly-weds glide to safety (Gary is getting pretty good mileage out of those harpy wings) - leaving the rest of the party to drown.
The two tireless golems trapped in the riverboat's waterwheels drive the 'Paradise' into the shallow water along the edge of the lake, tearing the bottom out of the vessel with a god-awful crash that tosses the surviving passengers around like well-dressed scarecrows. Picking themselves up, the party (those that hadn't already abandoned ship to selfishly save their own skins) organise the evacuation of the wrecked riverboat. Once everyone is upon dry ground, Karrack addresses the press of dripping nobles, rolling a CRITICAL FAILURE on his (unskilled) Persuasion roll to restore some semblance of order. The passengers panic and scatter into the dark, ogre-infested woods. Grogg roars for them to come back (failed Intimidation roll), but only drives them deeper into the forest. Lamenting their compound incompetence at anything other than combat, the party return to the mostly submerged wreck of the 'Paradise' to spend the night in relative luxury.
In the small hours of the morning, Grogg (who pulled the short straw and got lumbered with guard duty) spots torches bobbing through the trees to the north. Suspecting that the locals have come to salvage what they can from the wreckage, the group prepare to defend what they now consider to be their plunder. Karrack heads down to negotiate with the horde of opportunistic peasants and bloodshed is narrowly averted.
Meanwhile, Grogg applies his unremarkable intellect to the problem of ridding himself of the Thassilonian rune that he (somewhat foolishly) allowed to be tattooed onto his shoulder. Before anyone can restrain him, the half-orc grabs a burning brand from the parties cook-fire and attempts to purify his body of Lucrecia's vile sorcery with purging flames. This hurts tremendously and achieves nothing - the tattoo is obviously magical and only glows ever more balefully in the centre of his scorched and puckered flesh.
The villagers agree to lead the party to Turtleback Ferry, where they can regale Mayor Shreed with their misadventures and actually crack on with the task of investigating the ogre activity near Fort Rannick.
Meanwhile, Grogg applies his unremarkable intellect to the problem of ridding himself of the Thassilonian rune that he (somewhat foolishly) allowed to be tattooed onto his shoulder. Before anyone can restrain him, the half-orc grabs a burning brand from the parties cook-fire and attempts to purify his body of Lucrecia's vile sorcery with purging flames. This hurts tremendously and achieves nothing - the tattoo is obviously magical and only glows ever more balefully in the centre of his scorched and puckered flesh.
The villagers agree to lead the party to Turtleback Ferry, where they can regale Mayor Shreed with their misadventures and actually crack on with the task of investigating the ogre activity near Fort Rannick.